Wednesday, November 3, 2010

661 Square Feet of Bliss

“To love is not to look out for one and then the other, but is to look and work in the same direction.” – Cameroonian proverb

Another season begins and I feel that some things are meant to be, and some are meant NOT to be. The direction I was heading with Casey, even just living with him, was not the direction I wanted my life to go in. I am disappointed with myself for not having realized that earlier, for ignoring the signs and red flags that would later destroy my happiness. In the words of my friend Jessica Jackson, “You allow people to treat you the way that they do. If you don’t like it, get away from it”. These words are forever engraved in my mind. I won’t go into the details here, but we will just say that the relationship was unhealthy. I have questioned and questioned relationships, trying to figure out what they ought to be (and still am researching), and while I obviously don’t know all the answers, what I have learned from this experience is this: It’s all about how you feel. If you don’t feel good with the person you’re with, it doesn’t matter what logic or twisting of perspective you rationalize with – you’re selling yourself short, and are not getting what you deserve. You deserve to be happy.

We just moved into my new apartment, Amie and I. Oh yes, I have a puppy.

Amie was found in a shelter, in a cage with 6 other dogs, including her brother, all who were attacking her if ever she approached the food bowl. Her bones poked out of her skin, her tail had been cut too short by someone awful, and her eyes were the definition of sad and neglected. When my hopeful mom saw her, she demanded that they let her take Amie home. At this time, she was called Lucky; everyone, including the vet, was hoping, but doubtful, that she would survive. A few weeks later, my mom had nursed her back to health, and her heavy head that once hung low was raised higher. She started to play. My mom told me that she thought she would be a good dog for me, and when I saw her, I wanted nothing more but to give her all the love that she hadn’t received in the past. While she is great responsibility (that many disapproved of at first), she was a great encouragement for me to completely move on. She is a great companion that I prefer to share my life with! She’s loyal, she’s a great cuddler, she is always in a great mood, and provides me with an outlet for my affection and love. That’s why I named her Amie – French for “friend”.

Right now, I am on a positivity, peaceful energy, freedom, new life with Amie, joyful at my own discretion high. I moved, I moved, I moved. I am moving on. It worked out in a way that I can rejoice about, and I am thankful to all my friends and family who have helped me. As I feel I had taken a bit of a step back, I feel that life is pushing forward, for there are too many things for me to discover and appreciate, there’s still so much to love in this life. People I have yet to meet, places I haven’t been yet, ideas I don’t yet understand- I cherish it all.

Peace Tree Africa’s current step involves market research for the DFW area, and calculating the costs and specifics of an importation of products. It’s tedious and exhausting, but nonetheless it’s a step forward.

We have also partnered with KBI, a fellow nonprofit that supports development in Sierra Leone. The organization was actually founded by a dear friend from college, whom I used to tutor in French!! Who could have imagined that we would have both lived in Africa and started nonprofits by this point? Life is quite amazing. With this partnership, we are able to work under their 501 (C) (3) status, that is still pending IRS review (this process is known to take 6 months to a year). So if there is anyone out there that feels it right in their heart to make a donation, provide a grant opportunity, or fund our first importation trip, or if you want to know more about our mission, please go to www.PeaceTree Africa.org.

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danielndengue said...
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